Book Review - START WITH WHY - How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone To Take Action - by Simon Sinek

If anything, you can call me an impulsive reader – it catches my attention and I pick the book up – and can read almost anything. But self-help or management or such genres were never on my list. The first time I heard Simon Sinek was in a small video clip forwarded in one of the WhatsApp groups where he talks about the millenniums in the workplace. I just loved it. It had hit it right on the head. Then I got to see a few more video clips, courtesy WhatsApp, and by then I was utterly impressed with the ideas of this person. What I liked most was its simplicity. The things he said did not need us to be a qualified rocket scientist. Au contraire, all it needed is we be true to our beliefs and not delude ourselves. So, when I chanced upon this book by him, there was no way I was going to give it a miss.

Start With Why starts on a very basic premise – which is most often ignored or overlooked – that we start with the WHY. Every action, every gesture, every thought has a reason for being generated, for coming into existence. So, if we want to do justice to it, we must not ignore the Why. Simon’s examples are such that we can relate to it. Martin Luther King Jr., Apple (as in an organization) and Southwest Airlines. All well-known and famous for their philosophies or thoughts; each one an inspiring leader in its own right. Each was clear about WHY they were doing WHAT they were doing. Dr King knew that for making the civil rights movement a success, his single vision to change the country, he had to inspire people to change not just for the colored but for everyone; Wozniak envisioned the personal computer as a way for the regular man to have access to modern technology and Jobs marketed it as an affordable and simple personal computer; the guiding principles of Southwest Airlines was to make air travel accessible to the common man. They all knew WHY they were doing WHAT they were doing.

Simon feels that only if one has a clarity about the WHY can he be a true leader, an inspiration for the others to follow and emulate. On the other hand, manipulation only leads to short term achievement of goals with no loyalty. He has clearly explained the concepts of WHY, WHAT and HOW using his now-famous theory of the Golden Circle. The Golden Circle helps to locate order and predictability in the otherwise assumed unpredictable human behavior. This concept could be used in a multitude of business and organization scenarios; it could also be applicable to one’s life. He has used this principle to explain some case studies of famous organisations. From Walmart to Costco, from United Airlines to Southwest Airlines, from Apple to Microsoft. Reading about these examples and how they either lost their way up or how they reinvented themselves to stay true to what they believed in, makes it an insightful read. He has not shied away from using himself as an example, which gives the whole principle a lot more credibility and acceptability.  

There’s no deficiency of inspiration, or of people who inspire. But it’s how the message is conveyed that creates the maximum impact. For one to inspire, one has to be clear about their own beliefs, their WHY, and only then can they inspire others to do their WHAT and teach them HOW to do it. In his words, “WHY is just a belief.…HOWs are the actions you take to realize that belief. And WHATs are the results of those actions.” The effortless flow of the narrative is what made reading this book a pleasure; it was almost like a conversation – a knock-on-the-head kind of conversation. A must read for all those who seem to be stuck and can’t figure out what they are doing wrong. Truly inspirational. 

Some memorable lines/quotes from the book are – “The role of a leader is not to come up with all the great ideas. The role of a leader is to create an environment in which great idea can happened.”

 “Money is never a cause, it is always a result.” 

“Achievement is something you reach or attain, like a goal…. Success, in contract, is a feeling or a state of being.”

Touching lives

Had an amazing day yesterday. Yes, it was Sunday, but that was not the only reason. After spending a near perfect day, I got busy getting things organised for the week ahead. When I went down to the market, I had the most happy encounter with an unexpected family. I met the parents of one of my earliest students. I had worked part time at a play school for a couple of months. My students were toddlers, ages ranging from 2 to 3 years. It was the most amazing 6 months of my life. I learnt more than I taught, was happiest during those 3 hours. That little girl was all grown up now and had started formal school from this academic year. How time flies!

When I joined the play-school, I was not very sure how it would be. I mean I am a no nonsense mother of two, with clearly defined dos and don'ts at home. Would I be able to apply the same set of rules here? Anyways I decided to plunge head on and deal with the situation as it came along. My class started of with just 3 kids. Oh, quite manageable I thought. But with each day I realised it was not that easy. These were babies, leaving the security of their homes and the comfort of their mothers' presence for the first time. I know I cried the day my little one left for play school. Its a pain only a mother can understand. That empty feeling inside, the conflict of emotions. Pride at watching them become independent yet sad that they are growing up so fast. You are happy to see them make new friends and evolve into individuals. But somewhere there's a tug at the heart strings, whispering into your unaccepting mind that you are no longer their world. Your little explorer is hungry to march into the world and discover it by herself.

Teaching is a noble profession, they say. I say, teaching the little children is your way saying thank you for this life that you have. You are actually not teaching; you are nurturing and laying the foundation of a better tomorrow.

Here's to all the teachers out there. Thank you.

Road Trip To Anjarle Beach

Rejuvenated, recharged, inspired, invigorated and ready to go. This is how I feel after the weekend at Anjarle. The pristine beach, intoxicating serenity, calming greenery and fresh air has infused new life into the morbid souls of us city-dwellers who are forever caught up in the vortex of the race against time. I guess travelling does it for me, always. It gets my head clear and my energies soaring. 

This trip to Anjarle was nowhere in my itinerary though a long-due road trip was on the to-do list for the summer vacations. So, when the prospect of a road trip came up, we all jumped together and grabbed it hungrily. It would be a first time though with a group of strangers, sharing just one thing in common – the love of travelling by road. The prospect of road tripping was enticing to the entire family. We love traveling and we love road trips, but we had never done it with a group. It was always us, a family thing. The novelty of this trip was enticing. Anyways we decided, and we went. And, did we enjoy!!

#RTCMumbai to Anjarle became the hashtag of our dreary lives. A cavalcade of some 15 cars, a dozen families with children and pets made up the motley crew that headed towards the destination after a briefing by Vineet, Neeraj and Deepak (the torchbearers of the group #ScoutMyTrip). The cavalcade was led by the seasoned captain, Neeraj Yayawar. Our car had another family travelling with us. Have been friends for decades but travelling together for the first time. Another “first time” in the trip. Now, we had a gaggling, giggling gang of little girls in the last row seat. Enough to test any driver, I say! And, so started the adventure. There were frequent breaks, which were packed with lots of camaraderie, peppered with boisterous conversations and unstipulated introductions. Oh yes, the introductions were inevitable since most of us were new to one another. 

Once our feet touched the inviting sands of Anjarle, drenched in hues of the setting sun, it was just bliss. Just as the cool waters of the Arabian Sea touched our feet, it washed away the fatigue that plagued the minds. The children ran wild and carefree on the beach; the furry pets tried their best to catch up or outdo them. I was left wondering when was the last time our children were able to play with such gay abandon? It was heaven. 

At the appointed hour all of us rushed to welcome the future inhabitants of the sea world, as they took their first clumsy steps to reach the comforting embrace of the waves. The new born Olive Ridley turtles - cared, nurtured and protected by the volunteers of the Sahyadri Nisarga Mitra - waddled towards the waterline, under the watchful eyes of the volunteers and the enthusiastic crowds. Can’t think of a better way to teach our children about nature and its endangered inhabitants. Our way of contributing towards making a better world. 

If the onward journey was exciting, then the journey back was equally adventurous. There was an instance or two of some cars getting lost in the meandering roads in the hills.  There was no network whatsoever. So no Google Maps to the rescue. Nor could we call each other. This reminded me of all the trips we went on as kids in my father’s trusty Standard 10. At every turn, we would roll down the windows and ask the passerby for directions. If either party understood, lucky me! That was then. But even now I realised human contact is irreplaceable. You don’t need a mobile network, all you need is a smile. 

But all’s well that ends well. So, we are back to our lives. But we came back with loads of memories, memories that will remain forever in our hearts and minds; memories which will bring a smile to our face every time we think about them. We have made some friends we may never meet again, but who will remain in our thoughts forever. This is the beauty of life. I’m sure the kids will remember this trip for its novelty, adventure, road trip, turtles and of course their furry friends. Kudos to team #RTCMumbai for enriching our lives.


                                                     

Hemal, the co-captain in the trip, recreated the amazing journey, a mini recap of some amazing adventures. Have a look and be inspired to road trip.

Love Today

It’s a day after Valentines and one can still feel the lingering presence of love in the air. Love, which in our daily lives we ignore for want of time but feel the overwhelming need to express in the most clichéd style on this one day. Love, which is thought to be the most pure and selfless form of human expression, is quantified and measured with the worthless baubles and gifts one receives. Love is no longer personal but has to be a public display with lots of pictures on the various social media handles. Is this love? I don’t know.

In one of the dailies yesterday, there was an article about an elderly couple who have been together for nearly 50 years. Unimaginable in the present situation, right? Well that’s how it was all these years for the earlier generations. It was all about getting along and making the necessary adjustments. Imagine our young couples doing that? Totally not happening!

For me the most romantic couple would be my maternal grandparents, my nana-nani. It will be difficult for me to be impartial because I simply adore them but believe me, it is not undeserved. A quintessential English “bhadralok” brought up during the British raj in an affluent family, he had the luxury of going abroad for his studies and then landing a good job once back. His only requirement for his marriage was that his future wife be English literate. So, steps in my grandmother. Her 4 feet some inches diminutive figure took up the challenge and wrote a letter to my grandfather in English, after months of struggling with the language. They would have completed 70 glorious years next year had he not passed away last month, leaving my grandmother heartbroken.

Their romance is legendary in the family. He indulged her in every way he could – shopping, movies, jewelry, etc. etc. but he also pushed her to get out of her comfort zone. She could discuss anything, from politics to movies to books, because he insisted she know about the world; and she reciprocated by becoming a keen learner. She didn’t have to. Ladies in those times were restricted to managing the household and children. But she did. Even till recently they would sit outside in the verandah, reading newspapers together and discussing the current affairs.  She, in turn, made him more “desi”, that’s what he used to say! At the dining table, it was customary for them to share the last chapatti and jam, a dessert. Can it get any sweeter? It’s always been like this for as long as my memories go. But it had been like this even before me, I’m told.

Cut to the present day. A dear friend proposed marriage to my niece and she, after giving it some thought, turned it down. Reason – it was not working out!?! It’s marriage one is talking about, not some business contract. They had many reasons for not going ahead, starting from financial arrangements to location to individual careers and many more. What happened to a “lifetime together” and “making it work”? Well this is how it is, love for the millennials. They don’t have time or patience to understanding the basic need to adjust, accommodate or compromise to make any relationship work. I don’t think I ever can understand this whole thing.

So, what about love and romance? I am still old school and totally believe in it, minus the chocolates and roses of course. It still exists but out there, it’s a sad state of affairs, no pun intended!

***

Many Roles In One Lifetime

How do you describe the roles you play but by the many relationships you have? I mean you are someone in every interaction. You play a parent to your child, a wife to your husband, a daughter to your parents, a teacher to your students, a customer to your vendor, a client to the manager. There is never a moment in your life when you aren’t playing a role. But what defines you as a person are the roles that are important to you.

As a woman, role-playing comes easily to us. As a mother, the role gets further refined by the many jobs one handles -  coach, cook, chauffer, teacher, medical assistant, friend, guide, philosopher, mentor and much, much more. One changes from one role to another like a chameleon – the external appearance changes but the basics remain the same. Sometimes the change is smooth and the transition effortless. But sometimes, the changes need much more than just one’s participation.

While in school and college, I remained a student – free of responsibility, totally self-involved, short-sighted about life and the world at large. Once I stepped over the line which marked the transition from student to professional, the magnitude of the roles being played increased both in scope and intensity.

As a teacher for the primary classes, I realized I was more than just a teacher in the class. The waist-high students, all hungry to grow up and emulate an adult, were watching my every move. I was being evaluated, in their subconscious, to see if I was a good role model. It was a big responsibility. The expectations of this role were high and that meant I needed to re-examine my own self.

The day I donned the uniform for the first time, I realized my role as a Naval officer went beyond the pristine whites I wore. It was the symbol of our nation’s pride and strength. I no longer was a young carefree woman who could do what she wanted without giving a thought to what the world thought about it. Now I was responsible to the nation. I had hundreds of young girls looking up at me as their role model. And I couldn’t just shrug it off. This role was challenging as well as exciting.

The role which has been the most exacting yet enjoyable was the one I started playing when my first born arrived. My world spun in an unknown orbit and I was absolutely clueless. I had to learn from the moment I first laid my eyes on her, and believe me, I am still learning.

Life is dynamic and that’s the beauty of it. With every change that it brings, it ushers in a new role for us. And the joy of this new role is that you learn something new about yourself. I’m waiting to see what is the next role I get to play.  

Thank God It's Monday!

Thank god its Monday – TGIM! I so look forward to the beginning of the weekdays, the regular working days, that its almost criminal. My kids refuse to look at my glowing face on the Monday mornings when they are all groggy and could do with a few more minutes of the shut-eye. And there is the mother sounding so chirpy and happy about it being a bright morning and with hopes of it transforming into a great day! I know gives you a sense of déjà vu, doesn’t it?

Well after a back breaking and hectic weekend, which just happened to zip past in the most breathless pace, I’m sure I deserve a peaceful, Zen-like time to myself. Of course, it can’t be that peaceful what with the occasional interruptions from the raucous ringing of the doorbell. The maid, dhobi, maali, pav-wala, each has to make their presence felt. And I can’t ignore them, they are after all the life support of every housewife. All jobs done. Now to settle down with Sunday Hindu newspaper and a cup of hot green tea with lemon and honey. Perfect! But where the hell is the newspaper? I spent some time looking for it in all the regular locations and then it struck me…my husband was busy clearing the basket with all the old newspapers; and I’m sure having finished reading it, he had kept the said newspaper away too. There goes phut the bubble of paradise. Now I know why I’m so stressed out on Sundays.

Sundays are cleaning days in the house, a ritual religiously followed by my husband. Like a true-blue Virgo, cleaning and organizing are the air he breathes, much to the discomfort of all the other regular-born family members. Even I am a very organized person and like to keep my things in their place. But I’m ok if I find my pen stand on the right-hand side of the desk instead on the usual left side, or if the books are stacked up on the study table instead of the bookshelf next to it. And the children, those poor disorganized angels who derive absolute joy on finding anything in the first go in their room, their weekend turns to nightmare at the very thought. He’s a man possessed when he’s getting them to clean the room.

So, going back to the reason why I’m so stressed out during the weekends is because I play the negotiator, the peacemaker, the arbitrator – call me anything but it all means the same. I am the one who gets caught in the crossfire between the two warring sides. Neither side is ready to compromise on their standards. The father wants a spic-and-span “cabin cupboard” (a terminology used often in my house by my ex-Navy husband!) and the children want things to be “arranged” in such a manner that they can locate it in future without shouting out to the mother for emergency assistance. After an hour or so of shouting, arguing and angry outbursts, this exercise finally gets washed away with crying, howling and sobbing by the girls. Thus, ends the weekly exercise and then I play the pacifier. Sometimes I feel like an acrobat, balancing my sanity and my household.

After this narrative, I’m sure you agree why the Monday mornings are most sought after. Now for that cup of hot tea!